DOES YOUR MOTHER REALLY KNOW THAT YOU'RE MARRIED?

I know you'll say jealousy has taken a better part of me but let me ask you, does your mother really know that you’re married? Does she even know that you’ve been cohabiting in that campus bedsitter for the past four years, raising a love baby made of borrowed cooking oil, endless sleepovers, and whispers of “babe, uko na class leo?”

Happy moments of campus dating 

You see, campus dating has evolved. It’s no longer just about holding hands in the corridors or campus highways and probably hanging out during weekends. Initially Fridays were known for girls to change environment, I mean taking a charger and a sweater then leaving their cubes in hostels to somebody else's room for the weekend. Today, some of the comrades are running full-blown “marriages” in the name of companionship. And the funniest part? Both broke, jobless, and sharing a mattress that has seen better days but somehow convinced that love reigns. Anyway, how do you feel now that your parents are paying for your rent, like I mean paying rent for someone's husband and wife . Funny ?

Now let me ask you, brother, are you sure you’ll marry that girl you’ve kept in your bedsitter all this time? The one who gave up her friends, wears your hoodie like a wedding gown, and has been washing your socks since first year? Or is she just a temporary “soulmate” until you get a job and start pursuing someone “more wife material” with an accent and …? Let me not mention it,  but are you ready to marry her?

And sister, is this the life you imagined when you left home with  that Ksh. 1500 suitcase, dreams, and your mother’s prayers? You’ve been cooking ugali for a man who can’t even remember your birthday unless it falls near HELB disbursement. Your “husband” won’t attend his 8am lecture, but will spend all night arguing with you about who texted you “hi dear” at midnight.Then at times the argument ends up in slaps and silly fights. Is that the dream you used to talk about back in primary with a running nose that when I grow up I want to become a doctor? Let me pause before you imagine ni roho mbaya inanisumbua, probably you're thinking I was heartbroken and that's why I'm writing with anger. But critically you know I'm making sense.

Reflecting on moments you consulted no one about 

I've come to learn that we’ve got couples on campus who act more married than real married people.Like I mean they're in “serious marriages” more than that of their parents. They fight over who should buy onions. They’ve merged timetables. They do joint WhatsApp statuses. They log in to zoom classes using one device na kadhalika, but ask them where their relationship is headed, and suddenly it’s “we’re just vibing.”  Vibing? Vibing with destinies and playing Chababa Chamama with a future?

While all this is going on, real assignments are piling, and real degrees are suffering. Some are forgetting why they even came to university. A few are leaving with babies instead of Bachelor’s degrees and I don’t mean that metaphorically. Everyone will blame it for an accident and not fruits of their own labour.

Look, love is beautiful. But let’s be honest campus is not a marriage bureau. It’s a place to build your future, not gamble with your emotional credit score. I'm not against campus dating, but friends let's do it responsibly remembering that we're our mother’s , father's and community's investment.

Again ask yourself,  If your mother saw your current “marriage,” would she clap or collapse?

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